I Will Be Here...

Rehearsal Night 2007

As a single girl...

I absolutely loved Steven Curtis Chapman's "I will be here"....    I was completely sure that had to be the most beautiful wedding song ever written...    I listened to it over and over again...

I had it all planned out. The white flowing dress. The smiles. The way he would look at me. The ring.
The excitement of the proposal. Then, a perfect.. happy..  breath-taking life. He would pick me up and waltz across the threshold...  

I knew..  And I was ready.

....

On Tuesday, November 24th...    Jeremy and I celebrated eight years together.

We had a wonderful dinner together.

I have been truly blessed.

But, I'd like to share a tiny bit of my "happily ever after..."

The wedding was beautiful...   But, each and every one of the little moments we've shared has been worth a million weddings.

It isn't about the fairy tale...   but, life... real life. Is a beautiful gift. What Cinderella didn't tell us was that when you burned the supper and cried... But, had a great time together over takeout...  Was more precious than any glass slipper.

And even though my beautiful ring sparkles and shines...    Nothing compares to cheering on our little boy's baseball games or singing in the car on roadtrips.

Even though the proposal was breath-taking and romantic...   "Marry me" has taken on an entire new meaning. We're a team. Each other's biggest fan. Cheering each other on. Best of friends. I love laughing together.

Now the flowing white dress is stored neatly in my Mother's attic...    But, our happy days aren't put away. Warm meals together aren't out of sight and family hugs haven't faded.

And as for the way he looks at me...   Fluttering butterflies have turned into faithfulness and respect... a love greater than words.

November 24th 2015...  Celebrating 8 years!

Moral of this story? ...    I heard the song a couple days ago.

And to my awesome single friends, It took on a whole new meaning.

"I will be here"... because God in his precious grace allowed me the opportunity.. for a few fleeting moments in the span of time... to share my heart.

To each and every one of you - Choose wisely. God has a perfect one for you. Past the wedding. Past the dazzling threshold.

A lifetime awaits.

I included the lyrics...    Held more truth & honesty than I could have ever imagined all those years ago.
-----

I WILL BE HERE
Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake
up and the sun does not appear..
I will be here.

If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear...
'Cause I will be here.

I will be here ...
When you feel like being quiet..
When you need to speak your mind..
I will listen.
And I will be here..
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together..
I will be here.

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear...
I will be here.

Just as sure as seasons were made for change..
Our lifetimes were made for these years...
So I will be here.

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder..
When the mirror tells us we're older..
I will hold you.
And I will be here..
To watch you grow in beauty.
And tell you all the things you are to me...
I will be here.

I will be true to the promise I have made..
To you and to the One who gave you to me...
Tomorrow morning, if you wake up..
And the sun does not appear.
I will be here.. 

Oh, I will be here.

-----

Prayers for our Precious...

“I knew you before I formed you in your Mother’s womb,
before you were born… I set you apart.”

-------

Seven years ago…    I peered into a preemie's hospital bed behind glass where my precious 2 lb 9 oz. baby boy slept..   I watched the monitor beep through the night with his vitals and kept my eyes on his tiny chest ...rise and fall… rise and fall…

How could someone so tiny.   Be such a beautiful BIG miracle.

I have loved every single day of being his Mama.

 

As all of you probably know…

I’m a believer in seeing the beauty of the hard things.

I believe in giving God supreme glory in situations.

 

Faith is trusting.

When we pray for rain…  We should prepare for rain.

 

 

 

So, I’d like to catch you up on our journey…

It’s been laid heavily on our heart,

That somewhere out there...

There is a child.

That we’ve probably never met.

A little person that’s completely meant for our family.

The burden is heavy…

But, the peace given by Jesus is light.

As children of the great Almighty.
We were adopted.
We were chosen.
We are loved.

 

A few doors have been opened to us already…

I ask you, my sweet friends, that you will remember us when you pray.

We are opening up our hearts… 

 

Praying, believing & hoping

.. for a second miracle.

 

Our God is so incredibly good.

 

 

Learning to Rest...

The summer seems to have flown by. 

Literally, It feels like we've just

slammed that last textbook of the year shut - and yet here we are.

Brand new day.

Brand new season.

And life doesn't slow down.  I find myself rubbing tired eyes and being reminded of the reason on which I base my life.

Thought I'd share a little bit of my heart today -

The anxiety around us.. all of us...   is overwhelming.

From every direction.

I am so incredibly thankful for a loving God -
that hears each little insignificant need I bring before him..

I feel beyond blessed to know that as his vast arms cradle the universe -
that he has time for each prayer.

Lord, my heart is heavy because...

Lord, you see this situation...

Lord, you know this is out of my control...

Lord, help me..

Lord, strengthen me because...

I seem to fill in those blanks - what seems daily.

The nation around us is shaken...    It's a Godless age.

But, deep in the darkness...    Little candles shine.

Their flames quiver..    But, they burn.  

They burn on.

They project little specks of hope through the storms.

"A peace that passeth all understanding" ...  has taken on new meaning to me.

I am truly humbled that such a big God is waiting with loving arms..  Waiting for us to turn to him.

It literally brings tears to my eyes - just the very realization of how gracious He is.

Thank you Lord - for not leaving us. Thank you Lord - for walking with us.

Sweet Moms, As we start this upcoming school year - Keep your littles wrapped in prayer. HE is the author. HE holds our lives.

Breath His great name - He is our rest. He is our strength.

As you are buying school supplies...
or preparing lesson plans...     Keep His word close. 
Keep it as frontlets before their eyes... 

Be blessed today.   And rest.

Unboxing 2015-16! :-)

Ok ladies, 

Here are the UNBOXING videos that I promised! :-)

(And my voice sounds ridiculous)

Did my best to give you a glimpse of the My Father's World Curriculum & 

the additional books we are planning on using! Hope this may help as you are

making choices for your little people this upcoming school year! 

We are doing 1st grade Pt. 2 - But these are mostly 2nd grade goods. ;)

 

Jonah's Homeschool Curriculum 2015-16

PART 1

Jonah's Homeschool Curriculum 2015-16

PART 2

(yes, I did have to do two parts because I have a huge mouth... lol)

Here are the links:

My Fathers World - Adventures in US History Deluxe 

http://www.mfwbooks.com/wps/portal/c/homeschool

Proverbs Study

http://www.doorposts.com/details.aspx?id=57

Math U See

www.mathusee.com

Additional Books:

Explode the Code Series

Draw Write Now Series

Smart About the Presidents

Hooked on Phonics 2nd Grade

Jesus Calling - Sarah Young (They also make a younger children's version)

Language Lesson of Today (My Father's World recommends)

 

We have a Great Pyrenees.

 

Porti.

 

Actually, it's Portia.   But, after she became part of our family...  She was Porti.

 

She is huge.

 

Literally a gentle giant.

 

And she has taught me one of the most important life lessons..

Friendship.

 

The simple fact that it isn't defined by color. It isn't defined by DNA.  It's isn't defined by race. It's a bond between individuals. It's a pure & genuine love.

It's God-given.

 

 

 

She wasn't with us long...  when I realized even though she was "Jonah's Dog"... She was my girl.

 

We face a house of guys together.
 She helps me look after my boys.
Together we keep up with them.

:)

 

When the days are long and I'm tired...   She sits beside me.  She never talks.  She never gives me advice.  But, she listens. 

Simplicity is the most beautiful part of  kindred hearts.
A listener is a treasure.

She has a beautiful coat.  She always offers a paw to hold.

She loves sunshine.

 

 

 

Porti doesn't have answers for me.  She doesn't even try.  :) 

But, she does love our long walks.

 She does enjoy playing with a soccer ball in the front yard.

She does love to roll in tall grass.

 

She's too stubborn to sit when I ask and she likes to stand on her hind legs - Even though I tell her all the time not too.

 

Most of the time she gets my clothes filthy from those big bulky paws.

But, she's precious to me.

 

 

She's protective of my Jonah.

I love that.

Sometimes, I think she thinks we're sheep.

Friends are like that - they look after us.

Nudge us to put our best foot forward.

 

 

I believe Jesus puts people in our lives...

and in our case..   He has given us the sweetest pet.

 

She's added tender moments of joy to our days.
 

Thank you Lord for the little things..

and for this very big dog.

 

 



The heart remembers...

The days rolls by.

The seasons change.

We put one foot in front of the other after loss.

We breathe in...   we breathe out.

We put our best foot forward.


Then the sun starts to slowly shine again.

We feel the wind.

We begin to notice the flowers...  the birds... the sky.

We start to mend. 

But, the heart is a funny thing...  


Tonight, at the grocery store..  I pushed my hair back as I unloaded my cart at the register. It had been a crazy day...   Did I get what all I needed? I did a quick double check...   

That's when I saw him.

His white hair was perfectly combed.  His back was bent and his eyes were tired. His little pants were neatly starched and his dress shirt was attractively tucked beneath a sport coat.  His hands were wrinkled and his voice was kind. He fumbled with his wallet ... which I noticed was filled with pictures. He sweetly asked the cashier if she could assist him with the debit card machine. 

Then, he turned to me...   He said, "Young lady, I'm so sorry to take so long..  I sure hope you'll be patient with me."

He didn't realize the lump that had formed in my throat...   I told him he was completely fine...   and suddenly the busyness of the day didn't matter so much anymore. Just like time stopped for a few minutes...   and my heart remembered.

I couldn't explain to him how much he reminded me of my grandfather.

I couldn't explain to him how much those people in his wallet would miss him someday.

I couldn't explain to him how much I would have liked to turn back the clock for just a few minutes.

So instead, We talked..    We laughed about how neither one of us could keep up with our keys...    I helped him gather his bags...   He grinned and said how nice it had been..

I agreed and waved goodbye.

He never told me his name and I never told him mine.

But, I was thankful that at the tired and crazy end of today...    The Lord allowed a gentle reminder, giving me a little glimpse of someone I love in heaven, while still here on earth.


Take a moment.    Especially on this Memorial Day Weekend.

Remember those who have died for cause.

There are many different kinds of Soldiers.
Many different kinds of battles.

Hug your loved ones.
Make memories that will last forever.

Our Pop...

 

There are so many words used to describe him. Brother. Daddy. Friend. Husband. Mr. Barney…  But me, I knew him as Pop.  He actually wanted to be called Papaw…   But being the first grandchild…  Pop came out better and that’s what he was. To me… He will always be Pop.

There is no way that I can sum up an entire lifetime and put it on this very small piece paper…  But there are a few special moments… That I feel would make him smile if I shared…

 

As a tiny little girl… He took me to work with him often. Six years old. Riding high in the front seat right beside him. I was so small he eventually got me an old pot to sit on. We would ride down the road and sing, we’d visit with his customers over coffee (and I’d usually get a cookie or a treat out of the deal)…  We did a lot of talking and driving…   Pop loved to talk about what the Lord had done.

 

I’m sure everyone remembers the starched clothes and the perfect hair. Well, there was a whole lot more to Pop than that…   He loved to fish, He loved to hunt, He loved to ride a four wheeler, He was a great basketball player … And As funny as it sounds…  As a kid, he taught me how to roll down the hill in their backyard. I reminded him of that… OFTEN.

 

Pop was a character. He was always trying to tell a good joke…  But, they always turned out as DRY as a hot summer day.  Thing was, he was so sweet all of the time… EVEN when what he told wasn’t the least bit funny… You laughed. Because you just couldn’t resist making him happy.  

Our Pop, he loved. 

He was the kindest and most gentle man I had ever met. 

 

As the years went on, He became more than a grandfather…  He was a friend.  He was a smile on a hard day. And the moment you felt like your heart couldn’t take anymore…  He was the one on his knees.  And his prayers…  they were faith driven.  He knew Jesus…  and he believed.

He loved music.  We would sing to him… and he would cry. Then you would cry. It was almost like he couldn’t contain what he was feeling in his heart… so it just poured down his cheeks.   I will never… ever forget how special it was.

Then one day sitting in his living room…  He looked over my way and said, “Gen, when I first gave my heart to the Lord…    I had a dream…    I want you to remember this…   and someday if the Lord doesn’t come get me first…   You tell it.”

So, Pop…  Here it is. It’s been etched in my memory for years… 

He said in the dream, “He entered a beautiful heavenly place, a paradise. The flowers were vibrant and there was a perfect river flowing through it. He said like nothing in comparison to anything he’d ever seen here on this earth… He said he was completely taken.

Said as he began to look around he noticed far off in the distance a very young man with his back to him. Said he had broad shoulders, dark hair and was very tall.”

He went on to say that the more he walked the more in focus everything became. He described feeling so much peace, as if he’d returned home after a long journey. He began to see more and more clearly. The details were beyond compare in this perfect land. The young man in the distance was standing very close to the water in the river as if ready to cross over it. Then suddenly the man turned around.

Pop stopped a moment…  He sighed and smiled... and then he said, “Gen, that man was me.”

He wiped tears from his cheeks…   and I remember thinking that as he told it…  He almost sounded homesick.

I will remember his words, forever.

Our Pop loved his family…   his friends…   and his town.

He was always so proud of each of his granddaughters… But I have to say…   He was SO excited when the good Lord gave him grandSONS, after being surrounded by so many girls for so long.

James, Jonah & Benjamin.  They were the very pride of his life.

When Jonah was born, He was so proud of the testimony of his birth… and what the Lord had done. Jonah at 2lbs. and 11 inches long…  Pop said, “He was the cutest little cat-squirrel he’d ever laid eyes on.”

And he sure loved his James…   without measure. That was his first boy… and James held his heartstrings.

Then when Benjamin came along…  He was definitely Pop’s grand finale! Blonde and full of life – He completely adored him.

 

On a final note…   I visited him in the retirement home on January 23^rd … He was tired… He’d battled Parkinson’s so hard and the pneumonia had made him so weak… He couldn’t even stand.  Upon walking in I kissed his cheek and asked him.. “How are you feeling?”

He gave me the best smile he could muster and said, “The Lord has blessed me with another day.”   And that was him. That that was how he was.  Best foot forward.

 

Pop, I know you’re listening…

When we would come see you all through the years… We’d ask, “Hi Pop! Whatcha been doing?” and you’d always say, “Been here... Just waiting on you.”

I’m so glad to know that when my time comes…  Death won’t be a big deal. Because I know you’re already there… just waiting on me.

Thank you for your life.  And as a dear friend reminded us, you were always a gentleman. You showed us how to live…   and you showed us how to die. You left us with a peace beyond our understanding and the knowledge that all of our strength cometh from the Lord.

I will miss you….  And I will love you.  And I’ll meet you in the morning, Pop….  Just inside that eastern gate over there.

Genesis